We are social people. We love to be around others and share laughs, meals, stories, drinks and adventures. As an introvert, I sometimes spend less time socializing. A friend of mine jokes that after hours with our group of friends, I need to step out and get to ‘Gabi’ time. He’s pretty much hit the nail in the head; sometimes I just get a little overwhelmed with everything and need time alone to gather my thoughts before I’m ready to be part of a group again. So, for me, traveling solo is not daunting. I enjoy the alone time and opportunity to see things at my own pace (I also spare people from my hangry and more unreasonable moments). This holiday season I wanted to walk on the streets of cities that I’d only seen in pictures, visit museums and see historical monuments. The thought of being lonely did not enter my head.

 

Prior to the trip, I’d only briefly considered that I was traveling solo on Christmas and New Year’s Eve and that I would be in new cities at a time when most people are with family and friends. Truth be told, I needed to feel invisible in a large city. Logroño is a somewhat conservative and small city. People are always traveling with family, in pairs or groups; so much so that I constantly feel somewhat strange and different when I venture to explore the city solo. Basically, other than early in the morning (before 10 am when I feel like 80% of the population is asleep), it feels like no one is alone in a café or restaurant. I wanted to be comfortable again while sitting solo and reading a book at a coffee shop or eating a nice meal at a restaurant. I didn’t want feel singled out for being by myself.

I really wanted to see the German Christmas markets and after learning that many shut down on December 24^th or soon after, I decided that my first stop had to be Berlin. Traveling to Berlin resulted in a bit of an adventure. There aren’t any direct options from Logroño, so I bought a ticket departing from Barcelona on 1^st day of my break. I figured that an overnight trip via bus from Logroño to Barcelona would not be a big deal – I was wrong. Thursdays are my busiest days. I get up at 6:00 am in order to get ready and catch the train to get to my school. I get back home around 4:00 pm with just enough time to eat a very late lunch and get to my first of three private tutoring classes. If I’m lucky, and I catch the bus on time, I am home around 9:00 pm. A long Thursday day turned into a long night since I had the brilliant idea to pack after I got home and stay awake until to board my 2:00 am bus to Barcelona Friday ‘morning.’  After a rough couple of hours sleep on the bus, I get to Barcelona only to take the subway in the wrong direction, wait what feels like hours for the subway train going to the airport and panic the entire ride thinking that I’d miss my flight. I’m exhausted by the time my flight lands in Berlin. It is a great time to find out that I did not bring printed directions and now have to figure out how to get to my hostel. Of course, my phone decides to not work properly, so my journey to the hostel turns into another frazzled adventure along dimly lit streets in an unknown, large city. Needless to say I am ready for bed and it is barely 5:00 pm Friday evening. I drag myself out of the hostel, get something to eat and explore my surroundings a little before calling it a day. I was way too tired to feel alone.

I loved walking and exploring Berlin; it has great architecture, a deep (though dark and sad) history, and tons of monuments. The five days leading up to Christmas I walked everywhere, became familiar with the city center, visited 8 or so museums and saw many monuments. I saw so much Egyptian, Roman, classical and modern art that by the time I visit Amsterdam, stop two of my trip, I can’t imagine stepping in a museum. One of my most memorable days in Berlin started with a trip to Charlottenburg, a borough west of the city center, to visit the Berggruen Museum which hosts a collection of over 100 exhibits of Picasso’s work. This neighborhood was what I pictured and imagined I’d see in Berlin; quaint little houses lined up next to each other all with cute architectural features. The museum was probably my favorite. It wasn’t crowded and the pieces of Picasso, Matisse and other artists were, of course, phenomenal and a much welcomed break from classical art. As I walked out and walked to my bus stop, I stumble upon a Christmas market. It turned out to be one of the more authentic, less touristy markets in Berlin and I even got to eat pho at a small Vietnamese restaurant which was perfect for a cold, windy day. These first few days I was too busy to feel lonely.

I should mention that during this entire trip my feet were aching; the humid and cold winter weather in Logroño has not been kind on my joints and walking around for hours on end only made matters worse. After five days of endless walking, I was barely able to stand. So, it was a blessing that nothing touristy is really open on December 24^th in Berlin and I spent a lot of the day resting. My mind, however, did not rest and I let some nasty thoughts get in my head. I was exhausted, had nothing concrete to do (not that I could really move) and the streets were empty. Suddenly, I felt lonely. I felt like outsider and a crazy person for deciding to spend the holidays, let alone Christmas Eve, alone and away anyone I knew. All I wanted was to have someone familiar with me. Thankfully, I was able to talk to my family and hearing their voices made me feel a whole lot better. I have so many people with me all the time, they may not physically be next to me but that does not mean that they are not with me. I dragged my depressed self to mass that evening and changed my attitude – I felt part of something again and I was reminded that I’m never really alone.

I had a great time during my holiday adventure, but I would be lying if I said that it was all rainbows and sunshine (mostly because winter in Berlin, Amsterdam and London is anything but). When it all said and done, not being around friends or family on Christmas and New Year’s Eve really got to me. On those days, I had to work hard to remind myself of why I chose this solo adventure. I have good days and I have been days like everybody else. Thankfully I have more goods days and on the bad days I remember that I may be traveling solo, but I don’t have to be lonely.